Hair today - is not there tomorrow

In the UK, under-arm and leg hair is BAD, as is chest hair, back hair even the hair on your privates. Here in Europe, it's OK.

Well it used to be. Anyone old enough will clearly remember when Nena (of 99 Red Balloons fame) lifted her arm up on Top of The Pops. Oh the outcry: "99 Brown Pit Hair's" shouted the Sun's headline the next day, "When will Europe's Wookie women discover the razor!" screamed the Mail (probably).

Meanwhile - the German reaction was "Ja? Und?"

When I got here I thought I could start to relax the whole shaving routine - but it was not to be - there's not a hairy leg, pit, chest or back in sight these days, everyone seems to be depilated and shaved to within an inch of their lives. And what with Brazilians and all those other fancy Vajayjay treatments, short and curleys are about as welcome as genital lice - which - thanks to the lack of short and curleys are on the decrease. I guess there's an upside.

Even men are hairless - I've noticed this in the sauna and I don't like it. The downstairs needs a bit of shrubbery to hide in if you ask me otherwise there's an unpleasant resemblance to one of those nude rodents.

These days if I see that rare thing, a hairy leg on a woman, my initial thought is: "Thank christ, hair's back in fashion." But then I look again and think, "Get a razor luv."

I must stop complaining about Deutsch...

Why English is so hard to learn (a poem)...

We must polish the Polish furniture.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
The farm was used to produce produce.
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
The soldier decided to desert in the desert.
This was a good time to present the present.
A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
I did not object to the object.
The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
The bandage was wound around the wound.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The buck does funny things when the does are present.
They sent a sewer down to stitch the tear in the sewer line.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
After a number of injections my jaw got number.
Upon seeing the tear in my clothes I shed a tear.
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
I read it once and will read it agenI learned much from this learned treatise.
I was content to note the content of the message.
The Blessed Virgin blessed her. Blessed her richly.
It's a bit wicked to over-trim a short wicked candle.
If he will absent himself we mark him absent.
I incline toward bypassing the incline.

Uncredited (unfortunately)...